Researchers have recently found Bob, a Minnesota native ladybug who has been placed in captivity for study after expressing exceptional cognitive function, planning to take over the world, after brain scans show Bob thinking about wiping out the research center first, then advancing to the town of Maple Grove, then Minnesota, and so on until Bob and his team are the only living animals left on the Earth - and he plans to destroy the human race as well. “It’s terrifying,” says scientist Maria Johnson, who works at the Buggy Buggy Research Center in Maple Grove, Minnesota. “We’re all scared of terrorists and mass-murderers, but who’d’ve thought a ladybug would in the end dominate?” Johnson has a PhD in entomology and is a highly regarded scientist at Buggy Buggy with decades of experience, but still admits she has not seen anything like this in her entire life. “But the good news is we know what Bob is going to do,” Johnson says when speaking at a White House conference in Washington, D.C. But she doesn’t say what his plans are.
Luckily, Kyle Lester, another scientist at Buggy Buggy, tells us what Bob is up to: “Through scans, we know that Bob wants to recruit other animals - specifically more dangerous ones like bears, snakes, and killer bees - and form a team to take on the rest of the world. Bob is truly evil.”
“Bob the Killer Bug” is what people all over the world are dubbing him. And soon enough, he will be. But what can we do? Buggy Buggy suggests that we should go inside immediately if there is a member of Bob’s team near you. Don’t go near any animals that seem vicious or violent. And of course, check Buggy Buggy’s website every week for more safety tips.
What animals will join Bob? Buggy Buggy says Bob wants strong, powerful animals that can do a lot of damage, of course, but also wants intelligent animals, like apes, dolphins, and even pigs, to potentially help him edit the plan along the way, as he knows it won’t all be smooth sailing.
Bob’s intelligence was discovered after a young girl picked him up and then accidently dropped him. To her surprise, Bob made a very hard sound when he hit the ground - almost like he was made of metal. Bob was taken to Buggy Buggy, who concluded that Bob had somehow erected an indestructible shell around him. Brain scans followed this, proving Bob’s incredible intelligence. So if Buggy Buggy could’ve just stomped on him, they would’ve before you could say “ladybug.” But they can’t. So will we be able to defeat Bob? Or is the end approaching?
We’ll know soon enough….
I absolutely love this.
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