Yesterday, a rather large troll was found sleeping under California’s Golden Gate Bridge by 15-year-old Jerry Benson at 6 o’clock sharp in the afternoon. “The troll abruptly woke up when it heard me,” Mr. Benson said. “It was about 6’8”, and had huge white teeth that were really pointy. It tried to say something, but it spoke in some foreign language that I don’t understand, and it didn’t sound anything like English.” Another passer-by also claimed to have seen this troll. “I watched it stand up and look at something behind it, and it looked like a pile of treasures, particularly money and gold,” says Mr. Jasper Collins. We sent one of our own reporters out and it turned out to be just a crazy homeless man in a costume.
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